Oooru Miyaa

email from UK PM

2011-03-25T16:12:00.001+05:30

Read the below mail!!! this is so fucking funny! considering the current financial situation of the UK Govt.i don't think PM Cameron got extra £200.00 spare!

I think I'm going to get a Rs.100 Etisalat SIM and call this number and play along..its going to be fun!!!!

But err... if this is true and if i get the money, I'm going to buy drinks to you all..so register your name for the guest list immediately!

Ooorumiyaa.

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Rt Hon David Cameron MP <mdshah@nsc.gov.my>
Date: Thu, Mar 24, 2011 at 10:40 PM
Subject: Your ref:...Date: 24/03/2011
To:

PRIME MINISTER'S OFFICE,
10 DOWNING STREET, LONDON,
SW1A 2AA.

Our ref: ATM MasterCard/5404/BG
Your ref:...Date: 24/03/2011

IMMEDIATE PAYMENT NOTIFICATION

I am The Rt Hon David Cameron MP,Prime Minister, First Lord of the Treasury
and Minister for the Civil Service British Government. This letter is to
officially inform you that (MasterCard Number 5404 5000 0041 0640) has been
accredited with your favour. Your Personal Identification Number is 4724.The
MasterCard Value is £2,000,000.00 GBP (Two Million, Great British Pounds Sterling).

This office will send to you an MasterCard that you will use to withdraw
your funds in any ATM MACHINE CENTER or MasterCard outlet in the world with a
maximum of £5000 GBP daily.Further more,You will be required to re-confirm
the following information to enable;The Rt Hon William Hague MP First
Secretary of State for British Foreign & Commonwealth Office (FCO). begin in
processing of your MasterCard.

(1)Full names: (2)Address: (3)Country: (4)Nationality: (5)Phone #: (6)Age:
(7)Occupation: (8) Post Codes

Rt Hon William Hague MP.Secretary of British Foreign & Commonwealth Office (FCO)
Email; bfcoaffairs@msn.com
Tel: Tel: +44 740 525 5451

TAKE NOTICE: That you are warned to stop further communications with any
other person(s) or office(s) different from the staff of the State for
Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs to avoid hitches in receiving your payment.

Regards,

Rt Hon David Cameron MP
British Prime Minister

its V.day today..what a fine day to return to bogging..

2011-02-14T13:29:00.000+05:30

My early morning text to my wife .."Roses are red, violets are blue, you are my boss and I love you" and she replied " stop acting like an idiot,pay CEB&water bills,get some vegetables & dry fish,nothing to cook"

Romantic hah!

Ice Cream...

2010-08-20T19:56:00.000+05:30

Its time..for some Ice Cream...ohhh... heart pounding..

[Pix By Mike Flokis-Getty Images]

Recalling the UN Resident Representative- the Real Story

2010-07-09T16:53:00.001+05:30

So there it was.. a big turn of events to our own dear Cabinet Minister Hon.Wimal Weerawansa MP.'s protest into the proposed UN Advisory Panel on alleged War Crimes in Sri Lanka last night when we got to know the big head honcho of the UN, Mr.Ban Ki Moon had closed the UNDP's Regional Center in Colombo and had re-called the UN Resident Representative in Sri Lanka Mr.Neil Bhune.

Everyone in the blogspeare ,especially in the twitterspear went into panic and started saying all kinds of stuff including some 'peace loving' NGO kinda types saying WW should be arrested and charged for criminal acts because he prompted nice Ladies and Gentlemen in the UN Compound to stay inside their office and thus preventing them from going to the toilet or attend 'meetings' at Gallery Cafe etc.

Thats bad man.. i'm telling you..its really bad..today so it seems Dr.Dayan Jayathikae has shot himself in the foot (not in the mouth,when he himself called a Foreign Minster of our own Colonial Master [long live d Queeny] UK a cunt or something like that..!! OK, i admit..i'm fudging the details here.. not going to do a Sunday Leader kind of proof reading and corroboration of facts (haha..big joke!) ) and so on..[i lost the sentence..].

Anyway..fact is the UNDP Regional Center in Colombo that Mr.Ban closed following him getting pissed off with the 'situation'here, seems has nothing to do with the protests..if you know your geography well, then you know that the protests are in front of the UN Country office thats in the vicinity of Thunmulla Junc.on Bauddhaloka MV. and the UNDP's Regional Center is on the Independence Avenue or Nidhahas Mv. And then, UN Compound in Thunmulla (where our Hero Mr.Weerawansa is camping outside) houses among others the Head Office of UNDP in Sri Lanka and few small Three-wheeler size (meaning that the total staff in-country will fit into a single Three Wheeler-not that they will in reality.. given the fact that they have big gas guzzling Prado's per head there ) UN agencies and also some UN admin units including the world famous UN-DSS (Department of Safety and Security).

Rest of the key UN Agencies like UNICEF,UNHCR,WFP and most of the major UNDP Programs have their own offices spread around (posh parts ) of Colombo (well within the reach of Gallery Cafe-for Coordination Purposes etc) and are not currently covered by Mr.Weerawansa's boys and girls!

So, enough with the back story..here we go now to the real story..so late last night shit hit the fan when Mr.Ban announced that he was closing off the UNDP Regional Center (big deal!!!) and every one who has to do something with the UN here in SL is upset,some are calling for unconditional surrender of Sovereignty and some NGO types are asking for indiscriminate areal bombing of all NFF sites in Sri Lanka and then the bombshell.. some wise guy in Daily Mirror comes out with this ( aptly titled " The Big Ban lie ")and that effectively ended the whole 'closing' of Regional Center saga!

And then what about the re-calling of Mr.Bhune?

Here's the story.. there is an evil Octopus thats attached to the Office of the Secretary General on the 23rd Floor of the UN Secretariat building in New York and following developments in Colombo some of the senior staff of the UNSG's office had consulted the Octopus and hey presto..the Octopus has indicated an eventual capitulation of position held by Govt.of Sri Lanka over the UN Advisory Panel and as such Mr.Ban has re-called Mr.Bhune for 'Consultations'.latter has already departed Colombo for New York with business class ticket in hand (as over 6hrs of travel, UN staff gets to travel business class ) and some haal messo for the Octopus too.

Since i don't have an Octopus with me, i don't know when Mr.Bhune is due in UNHQ but i can say that the UN staff in Colombo are keeping mum about what the Octopus has predicted on the predicament of Mr.Weerawansha and since Shanthi Vihar is closed my guess is that Mr.Weerawansha will go to the Colombo Uni.canteen (Arts Faculty may be..) and have few Maalu Paan and plain Tea, talk to the troops about the next steps and head home for a shit/shower/shave and then off to Temple Trees to take up his new portfolio, brand new Minister of Public Protests&Farce with the Ministry co-located with the UN Panel in BMICH.

And, what about the UN Advisory Panel? well, for God sake people its a UN Panel..what do you expect it to do? OK, if you don't understand the 'Panels Theory' its bit difficult to explain but in essence, a UN Panel is similar to a GoSL appointed Commission of Inquiry and as such, this Panel will go on for some time, the Govt.will shout loud it will cooperate with the Panel and on daily basis stone wall it and then most of the big Countries will anyway undermine it as of fears of this kind of Panel setting a dangerous precedent to others and then by the time UN bean counters decide to cut funding to this Panel, it will come out with a Report and then one or many of the Big Five (and may be few others in the Security Council) will request the Report to be suppressed and by the time the report see the light of the day ,no one will give a rats fuck about the findings nor no where will be Mr.Ban Ki Moon close to hearing the wise counsel of the Panel.

Ends!

p.s- don't you think Yasmin Sooka is hot? she seems so to me!will i see her sipping Lemon Juice at the Barefoot Cafe,talking to Defendors' (like the movie 'Defendor') of Human Rights in Sri Lanka like Sunila Abey. or Sunanda Deshapriya ? oh! i think not!

Vesak Day protest..

2010-05-27T14:55:00.001+05:30

After following my years of extensive research on Buddhist Philosophy i can say that Buddha was a bad (good in organisational terms-bad for us the worker/peasant class) manager..he was more of a Corporate oriented guy and definitely not a Sri Lankan Civil Servant type... that's why he had his Birth Day, Graduation Day ( the day he got conferred as Buddha following years of applied field research..) and then Passing Away Day..[(we don't celebrate that..No,in fact we kinda do..but its called 'Mala Batha' having an early dinner at the dead man's house talking about what a great guy (or gal) the dead person was etc.. followed by few drinks behind some guys car..)] on the same day..

Imagine in Sri Lankan standers, had Buddha being a resident of Sri Lanka, we could have had 3(+) public holidays (+ 'day after' public holiday too) to celebrate each occasion and not a single day as it is now!!! that's why I'm calling for a protest.

We, majority Sri Lankan Buddhists tend to take Buddha as one of our own ,though he is a Nepali citizen by birth who later took residency in India for career reasons we could say he is Sri Lankan too, considering the number of trips he made to Sri Lanka and also his involvement in domestic issues and also the impact of his teachings on the Sri Lankan society itself!

So, going with above analysis i think its safe to say Buddha later on took up Sri Lankan citizenship and should consider to be full blooded Sri Lankan,hence the Mahinda Raj (or Government of Mahinda in other words..yes, i will explain my new political dictum of 'Mahinda Raj' in a latter post) must split Vesak into 3 separate events and thus, declare public holidays to correspond to that.

That's about it for now.. i must attend to more temporal issues today so i stop now but the comments box is open for discussion and i will further explain my findings if such is required.

one other thing:

in death life begins,life ends in death,

turning by one's deeds done,

whetted by desires of lust and hatred,

pinned to our illusions we evolve,

unceasingly,meaninglessly,

only by reflection we know,

catching glimpses of life's process,

by insight illusions we break,

by wisdom we disentangle our selves,

from our own spun webs,

Said Buddha..

Mahindananda Aluthgamage,next PM of Sri Lanka

2010-04-09T12:04:00.000+05:30

We, the Ooora and Miyaa here by propose Hon.Mahindananda Aluthgamage of Nawalapitiya in the great District of Kandy for the next Prime MInister of Sri Lanka. we think President MR should immidiatly stop whatever he is doing and appoint Hon.Mahindananda Aluthgamage as the next PM of this country, irrespective of Election Commitioners call for re-poll in Nawalapitiya.

Of course without Nawalapitiya votes, EC can't announce Kandy District votes and without Kandy District votes he can't announce Overrall votes nor national list seats allotted to each party ,hence who ever won the election (of course its the UPFA..who else you dumb nitwit!) can't set up a Govt.but all that legal bollocks is irrelevant.

WE WANT MAHINDANANDA ALTHUGAMAGE AS OUR NEXT PRIME MINISTER AND WE WANT HIM TO SET UP THE NEXT GOVERNMENT.

For you folks who repeatedly doubt me and my two cents worth posts, here are some back gorund info on Hon.Mahindananda Aluthgamage ,our hero of Nawalapitiya.

According to wikipedia where you find the most accurate and upto date information,Hon.Mahindananda Aluthgamage is a product of the prestigious Royal College Colombo and according to Parliament of Sri Lanka's "Biographies of present ( 6th parliment that is..) Members " his religion is listed as 'None' (may be some sect or cult in Nawalapitiya, where our hero is from).Hon.Mahindananda Aluthgamage our hero of Nawalapitiya, has an Authorized Official Facebook Page and you will find 625 fans of him there..including Maradankadawala Yakadaya.

Another famous folk hero is Hon.Susantha Punchinilame of Rathnapura now relocated to clrear and pristine beach country of Trincomalee.they both are great friends and share the same values and practices in Politics,especially share the same best practices on elections day.but i can tell you that Keheliya (Mala keliya) nor SB (Shit Banda) nor Naaki Sarath of Kandy District are friends of Hon.Mahindananda Aluthgamage ,our hero of Nawalapitiya. thats why fans of our great hero Hon.Mahindananda Aluthgamage serenaded MR with continues hoots when former was adressing the very first UPFA election rally in Kandy.

Respect!

(all pix are from facebook page of Hon.Mahindananda Aluthgamage ,our hero of Nawalapitiya)

Our Old Suddha Boss Lose Job, Calls for Elections..Dr. Myrvyn to lead the GoSL Independent Elections Observer group in UK Elections

2010-04-07T00:36:00.000+05:30

Was watching BBC today and after watching Gordon Browns car or his motorcade talking the road to the Buckingham Palace live for good ten minutes and then i had enough and switched to Fashion TV..and by the grace of Minister Bogollagama, the great Emissary of the benevolent Government to the foreign courts far and near, i started enjoying watching TV..

Anyway, its happy to see that good ol' Suddha is going for a General Election..i want to see the end of Gordon Brownrigg and his Suku Kolla and our lord Governor-General of Sri Lanka Hon.Mili-Banda ..and i want see an end to UK being a terror sponsoring state..vis a vis a Sponsor of LTTE terrorism and Separatism.

For that matter, I've decided to send Dr. Myrvyn Silva as a eminent Elections Observer to represent Democratic and Constitutional Rights of UK citizens on behalf of Sri Lankan Govt and also as a Campaign Manager for Conservative Party.

One might ask why i want Dr. Mervin to go and help the Suddha at this crucial juncture in Sri Lanka but let me remind you it was Dr. Murvyn Silva who defeated the LTTE conspiracy in Italy and thus saved Italy from the LTTE's Eeelamist hoards when he went single handedly while in Rome and assaulted and intimidated a group of Sri Lankan Tamils doing their bit to save the Thalaivar during the last days of 2008.that was before Prabhakaran, the dear leader of the Eeelamist Tamil Diaspora met his Nandikadaal.

So, enough with all the backside history of the War in Sri Lanka (its over anyway..) and lets join hand in congratulating Dr. Mervin for his endeavor and commitment to protecting Democracy in UK.

Time to boycott International Women's Day & think about Local Women..

2010-03-08T13:48:00.001+05:30

No, don't get me wrong.. I'm not against women..in fact I'm very much pro-women..and i think Women are equal..that's why i never disrespect any women by letting them get into the bus before me during the rush hour.. i expect them to push their way inside ,like i do most of the time.. and why should i give preference to women first before boarding and put them in shame? like i said before, I'm an equal rights guy!

Anyway, that's irrelevant, whats important is that today marks the International Women's Day and the papers are full of b.s articles, supplements and adverts on it.. even Milinda Mora' has his say about Women's rights ..but may be i missed it but haven't seen anything from Duminda Silva no women but i assume he being a guy who thinks about us the people all the time, he must be marking women's day in a classy way!

So, lest get to the business..whats the big deal about International Women's Day anyway? its OK to mark Women's day .. it should be everyday..but well ,since we can't do it every day , I'm happy we are more practical and end up marking just a day..(thank god for that!!!)

Point is, why a Day for International Women?? why are we being told to mark today as the day for International Women, whilst we have our own local women??? Local Women not good? no?

Come on ,give me a break.. this is bad.. unfair and I'm wondering why Wimal Weerawansa is damn quite about this.. where is Nimalka Fernando and Sunila Abeysekara? matter of fact, where the f. is Sunila these days? I'm sure she is not dead.. oh , as for Nimalka.. she must be twice the sad git nowdays with the decimation of the LTTE.. if you ask her ,she'll tell you LTTE was one of the best when comes to honoring Women's rights! anyway, Nimalka must be feeling lajjai after the defeat for doing nothing to stop the end of the LTTE and now being a total recluse..or may be she must be at Hilton Hotel today..having cocktails and marking the International Women's Day with her USAID and other International Doners.. talking about the plight of the rural women!

So, in the end Suddha has his way and is marking a day for International Women ,while our fine local women will just have to deal with the Duminda Silva and Thilanga Sumathipala campaign..and Etisalat's free SMS.

Anyway, I'm calling a boycott, for one it being a day to mark International Women and not Local Women and two for the fact that soon more than 500,000 or more women in this country will lose their livelihood..and some even their lives due to the withdrawal of GSP+ facility! yes, in the end, West especially European States will have their revenge on Government of Sri Lanka by cutting down the GSP+ for defeating the LTTE, but its the poor women of this country who will suffer.. but then , its okay.. majority of these women i gather are Sinhalese, so who cares..

Sinhalese are not supposed to have rights! so no one will talk about them..and no one will talk about the plight of the women in and associated with the Garments Industry in Sri Lanka who will end up losing their livelihoods soon!

So happy International Women's Day!!! NOT

Sri Lankan Kala Weddha..new facts emerge..

2010-02-03T11:22:00.000+05:30

Interesting research on Sri Lankan Kala Weddha.. new facts uncovered
by amateur Naturalist. apologies for non Sinhala speaking
readers..will try to have this paper translated and re-post soon.

Also await new and so far unseen pix of Kala Weddha,presented jointly
by Me Ooorumiya, GQ mag and National Geographic with financial support
by London based Peelam Department for Who 2 Vote Advice.

what we need urgently to re-align focus from elections and SF antics..

2010-01-29T23:15:00.001+05:30

I had one too many SMS today..yesterday and day before.. some were from people i know,while most were from number i gather to be land lines..(least didn't get any txt from a pay phone!!) and one said to be from 'SF's Daughter' etc.. and of course from the Old man himself..President..that was today..

And then the news, blogs, twitter is all full of elections,elections and SF said this ,said that, did this, want this etc etc..
and hey here comes some divine intervention.. was reading about the iPad or whatever that gimmick is.and come across Lingerie Football..man ..what a revelation!

So i took the liberty of posting above pix..and the caption said "Centre Jessica Renee (R) trains with her Lingerie Football League team, the Los Angeles Temptation, at the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum. The Temptations will play the San Diego Seduction at the stadium on January 29" and that was... Today..!!! yako.. i wish i was there today instead in Colombo..sweating and reading/deleting SMS..and working my way towards the paper stall..

I hope Minister Lokuge ( with his ex.Min.Sec..now truly lost in the boonies..hehe..) read this post and act upon immediately!

[pix by AP/GETTY]

Gen.(rtd.)Sarath Fonseka & Co.invite all for pre-Defeat Party@ Cinnamon Lakeside..Today..Now..

2010-01-27T13:46:00.001+05:30

Gen.(rtd.)Sarath Fonseka, the Oppositions main candidate for recently concluded Presidential Election ,along with his key party alliance leaders have decided to host a pre defeat party at Cinnamon Lakeside (formally TransAsia Hotel) Hotel today.its said that around 200 Army troops and Police are outside the Hotel already, queuing up to join the party.

So my advice is that you turn up early and turn up ASAP.. and avoid the last minute disappointment!

Informed sources say that Gen.Fonseka intends to announce his victory at the party and will call upon US to send troops to force the Govt.accept defeat and install him as President,Commander in Chief,Owner of all Prado's in Sri Lanka etc etc..

Party is organised by Fmr.President Miss Chandrika Bandaranayake Kumarathunga Peris ,Mr.Mangala Samaraweera MP and Tillwewin Silva of JVP ,hence its expected to be a rocking party.. so why wait...leave your office/house/spouse/LTTE fundraising event soon and join the party..

Enjoy!

Old work mate returns from the dead..survives the earthquake in Haiti..

2010-01-16T22:31:00.001+05:30

Just to cut a long story short.. Ooorumiyaa was feeling bit nervous and upset (with minor diarrhoea at times..) over some ex work mates who were working in Haiti,and following the massive earthquake there and with no comms and then with the story of big HQ coming down to pile of rubble.. there was the (still is..) fear that i may have lost these mates... and hey presto.. one m.f Suddha sent me a mail today.. its reads;

" Hello everyone,

Just a quick note . I just reported in to the ** compound near the airport and got access to a computer. Cell phones are still down, and if they were not I would be out of luck as mine is in my former office in the Hotel Christopher.

I walked out of there with my boss at 4:05 in the afternoon, about 30 minutes or so before the quake hit. I was in my apartment at the time and really thought the place was going to come down. The ** told everyone up in the hills to to remain where they were if they had food, water and electricity, so I did, until today when I came down to report in. I plan on remaining here and helping out, as the airport is jammed. The extent of the damage is horrendous. It actually seems worse than Sarajevo in some sections. "

OK, I'm happy that the bastard is safe and doing well. but i have some questions too..

Why the f. did he leave office at 04.05pm..? with his Boss.. where were they going? and when the quake hit, according to the guy he was in his apartment.. people in the knowing of things say the quake hit Port Au Prince at 05.10pm , so my dear mate, the bastard actually left work early and was at home even before end of business.. damn shame!

And then he wants to stay back and help out..just because the Airport is jammed? so much for bleeding heart..

Mind you , this guy is an old timer.. he stared as a soldier.. with a pretty dodgy work history.. and then left the Army as a Maj.Gen., (no ,not Sri Lankan..or else he would have got into politics..) and entered working with the current job..went to few 'troubled' spots and 'conflcit zones' and cut a name for himself.. and once ended up being sent home on a 48hr notice when the local media exposed him as a 'CIA' guy..thus being a security liability to the big employer as the local 'groups' wanted his head on a plate..

So this guy was sent to his hotel room under heavy guard, made him pack and spend the rest of the day inside the office, was told to do hand overs,papers etc and was put on a plane and sent home..goes home and the first thing his wife asked him was .. "what did you do with your CIA salary all this time" ??? women hah..

Anyways, I'm happy the old bastard made it.. he is a top guy to work with and a pretty solid friend ..who would lend me money at a e-mails notice.. and i kinda thought it would have been good if the sod died..so that i don't have to repay the substantial amount of money that i owe him..but thought of him dying under 3 tons of concrete also gives me slight diarrhoea.. so.. all in all.. I'm thankful for man upstairs and mom nature for the sparing his amidst the fury unleashed on a population of poor people.

I really hope Haiti emerge from the rubble as a new nation with a promise of a better living for all..least they can do for the thousands (or may be hundreds of thousands..oh pls no..) that never made it out of the rubble.

[Pix-JUAN BARRETO/AFP/Getty Image]

Cracks (and other cracks too..hehe) come to open within Veddha Hierarchy

2009-12-26T23:31:00.001+05:30

Me, Ooorumiya is a public intellectual type.. yes, bit of self bloating is good! and was reading the Daily Mirror recently and came across the above pix.. wow.. interesting stuff.. No you dirty prick.. not that.. i was interested in the caption..

It said ; "Uruvarige Kekula Rathnayake a close relative of Veddah chief Uruvarige Wannilaaththo, was seen yesterday on Galle road making his way towards Temple Trees to meet President Mahinda Rajapaksa to complain that the Veddah leader had mistreated his tribe. He is asking the President to resolve the problem. Veddah Ratnayake is seen wearing the traditional loin cloth with the axe on his shoulder and a mobile phone in his left hand"

Got it..?

Even Veddha has issues these days.. and whats important is that they too are turning to others for mediation or complain...its not like some guy say some thing about the condition of young cadres and next thing you know is V.Prabakaran ,your boss has sent a 14 year old to whack you! this is different.. there is space for dissension ..still (with certain limitations of course..hehe..)

I'm not so sure if Veddha Ratnayake handed a letter with a 'confidential' annex (which i doubt he did..if so , i would have watched it 195,237 times on Sirasa TV on a single night!) and whats the follow up to that.

Anyway, the point is even Veddha has issues..

Not sure whats the Veddha Numero Uno's version of this story but i doubt its about not handing over the deed to promised land, cutting the number of Veddha entourage or number of Bullock carts allocated to each..

But i sure hope the Govt pay some attention to Veddha grievances and make sure the Indigenous people of Sri Lanka are heard.

Or else we'll find UK HC making his way to Dambana to 'consult' the Veddha and follow on to that his boss in White Hall in London issuing a statement requiring GoSL 'immediately comply with all Veddha requests unconditionally' ..

Idea: MR can appoint a minister (and a deputy too) for Veddha Affairs.

On some thing else on the same lines.. i see the copper far left using a mobile phone taking a pix of Veddha Ratnayake as he walks away, sure hope its for records/research purposes and not for any 'other' use..hehe..that would be bad for the reputation of the Vehddah.

Mumbai 26/11 - One Year On..anyone from India better not read this..

2009-11-26T00:14:00.001+05:30

Its an year since great India found itself caught pants down when terror India trained and unleased for its own interests returned home in a small boat..

I have done extensive research on this attack and now ready to do a sensational expose on events behind the Mumbai attacks and my own two cents worth crappy analysis on why it might happen again,with more or less the same results..

At the same time i will share details of the real masterminds behind the attack too.

So.. stand by stand by..

[pix i'm not so sure from where or by who..]

UK Techy-types strip for charity-a timely idea for the Opposition to copy..

2009-11-19T00:00:00.002+05:30

Yes, Moi being an uber trendy connected bourgeois type Meeya,was browsing though Guardian UK (now..now.. lets not forget the Guardians stupidly biased reportage of the fight against the LTTE Terror..[LTTE lanu kaapu suddo] ) and hey presto.. i came across this..

Captioned " Techy-types strip for charity" it was all about some leading UK IT head honchos (not your average,cyber cafe wallahs in Barrista with laptop and uppity kinda attitude,down town Colombo..) pulling down the 'lets go green' type undies and putting the best of birthday cloths in front some faggot cameraman.. just to get a glimpse of the crown jewels into a Calendar...and all this for charity..said ,the paper!!!

Yes, its bloody true! in fact ,above pix came with the caption " Web entrepreneurs pose for the 2010 Nude London Tech calendar, which features 24 pictures of the capital's Internet pioneers in all their glory. Here's just a sample of what's on offer – and remember, it's for charity …".not bad for a Suddha fellow.and of the 24 pix , paper has 10 online and I'd say not bad.. well..i was talking more about the Lady entrepreneurs.. they seems to be more...inspiring achievers,least for me! of course having said that i mean no offense to the guys and i do think some may find all the guy entrepreneur pix nice too.. he he...

So ,here's my proposition.. now that the Opposition,with its new found champions and with its big movers and shakers ..like Ranil.W, Mangala.S,Somawansa.A and our own nice boy K.D.Lalkantha ,its time to copy this strip for charity gig and have Oppositions own calender for the upcoming elections.. wow..imagine that...

Mind you.. near by Arpiko ,Keels Super Markets and the Co-op ,do have an impressive collection of meds' for Rat headaches..mostly Mortein range of products and i might try some in case the Opposition,especially Ranil and Mangala (though i think Mano.G might look good in his sun glasses [the glasses that he got from late Thalaivar VP of Puthumathalan mangroves fame..] ) go ahead with the idea.

[pix by i don't know who.. i closed the page already and not bothered to go back and see who owns the pix..anyway it was on Guardian.UK..so , the pix is theirs..]

While Sarath decides..lets try Victoria's Secret vacation..

2009-11-13T02:13:00.001+05:30

Today, after a fine day spent (or may be few tense weeks of guess work..) like most of Sri Lankans' pondering on whats next for General.Sarath Fonseka, the CDS (while at it..making big bucks for Dialog..on SMS text revenue that is..) i decided to refocus my creative energies on something else.. and hey presto.. found the above pix of Brazilian (where else?) supermodels Alessandra Ambrosio and Ana Beatriz Barros,who recently (I'm told) joined forces (finally..) to provide Victoria's Secret (and GQ) with the most enviable holiday album ever (or least that's what the ad.said..) and by God.. I'm spending quality time awaiting the decision,while going through pix.. so i say.. take your time General Sir.. we'll wait a bit more...

[Photos by Gavin Bond/British GQ]

David Blacker's 'In D top 10' and New Sri Lankan Order...

2009-07-15T14:49:00.001+05:30

I was reading David Blacker's bogg the blacklightarrow and its latest post about the increase of troop numbers in the Sri Lanka Army and the ensuing comments aroused some interesting ideas, manly on the next National Agenda or to put simply.. on finding a common enemy or least another war to bind us together...

So in the midst of the discussion.. someone says we should Invade Maldives .. (well, we did that not once but many times before ,while the most resent being in the late 1980's.. when 'we' managed to sit on the chair of President Gayoom but some how in true Sri Lankan style didn't do all the Admin required not only to sit but to hold on to that chair.. hence that project ended in dismay!!!)

And then in true bogger style David Blacker pointed out Maldives is a no go as its going to go under water soon.. and floated the Idea of invading Australia.. yes, that barren patch of land where Abbos roam with few dozen cans of VB each, Kangaroos hopping towards incoming traffic and the racist Suddha in power...

Thus, an idea turned out to be a revelation ....

On with the revaluation, comes local knowledge.. this guy DB says.. "Maldives? They'll be gone in a few years thanks to global warming. I say Australia — if we land somewhere close to Darwin, the Aussies won't even notice for a couple of years"...so we now know even where to land troops .. and then this Shanaka guy says he knows few "knock joints" in Darwin... that's local knowledge..

So we already have the upper hand ,and even sound ground Intel too.. and then comes the bomb shell..

Georgethebushpig, a true visionary gentlemen of Anton Balasingham type ( yes, not only we need great strategist like DB or local knowledge/intel in the likes of Shanaka, but a Theoretician to justify why we need to go to war and why we need to suffer for greater good etc..) states:

"True. We should fight the Tectonic separatist movement and reclaim what is rightfully ours. We can herd the Australians into refugee camps in PNG or some other god-forsaken island now that we've gained some considerable experience in this area.

Hey, I got an even better idea! Why don't we take all the cash that we don't have as a country and start building a nuclear bomb? Now how good would that look? We can have tea with Dear Leader and Ahamadinejad and discuss the finer points on how do you successfully piss everyone else off.

We Sri Lankans are really a funny bunch aren't we?"

That's it folks .. die is cast now.. not only we have a sound justification to go invade Australia but also our new found 'Dr.Anton Bala' understand the core of the Sri Lankan soul.. of we being a 'funny bunch' ..(for Operational reasons I'm not going into detail the plan to build D-Bom..)

Not to lose this historic moment i proposed a small step ,just to cash in on this great and epic crusade.. and said :

"dear georgethebushpig, i like your visionary ideas.. can you come and give a lecture at the next Royal Asshole(nee Asiatic) Society 'Visiting Assdamic" Lecture ? "

I think the invitation to the lecture is a good start.. a simple but momentous step towards charting out our next national crusade..

I hope this stimulates intellectual discussion..

My Application for the Post of Self Defence Instructor to IFRC

2009-07-07T23:18:00.002+05:30

Post of Self Defence Instructor

Dear IFRC Sir/Madam/Sister/Brother,

I'm writing with regards to your requirement for the post of Self Defence/Martial Arts instructor.I have following qualifications:

1.Pocket Billiards Champion:
expert in the art of using the 'hands' for 'man's pleasures' ...hence, skilled in the use of hands for non combative, stress relief measures..

2.Highly Developed Agility:
specialist in dodging missile like objects thrown by wife..thus can instruct and prepare any person to avoid objects thrown at them from a by any potential aggressor..or if you rejected (due to Budget cuts ) a five year old promise to build a house costing Rs.10,000.00 to a Fishermen from Muttur , following 210 field visits, 187 field assessments, 89 Consultant visits, 19 visits by Regional Coordinator,11 visits by Sector Lead and then 3 visits by Country Operations Manager ,all traveling on each visit in an entourage of at least 3 Heavy Duty Prado jeeps with CODAN/UHF/VHF/HF communications sets etc.and to be told to fill 2317 sets of forms and attend 4 workshops...

3.World class Foot Workmen:
specialty include avoiding kids squeaky toys on the floor while negotiating towards the bed in the dead darkness,piss drunk...a skill that can be passed to students who can avoid being followed by any potential threat in the darkness..or to avoid Auditors and Funders ,and leave Berefoot cafe without being noticed or use ODELs car park entrance to exit and get into your big IFRC Prado during work hours etc..

4.Expert Negotiator:
skilled in the art of negotiating in the face of an attacker..negotiating with wife over why need to stay late with friends to discuss 'threats to national security' has made me into a master negotiator..a craft that can be useful to your staff members in dealing with potentially hostile public,especially if you're dealing with IDPs in Manik Farm complex where you screwed up the toilets system etc..

5.Round the Clock Bullshitter:
especially in the art of justifying why you returned home piss drunk and get away with it in the light of national security..a science best applied when confronting angry GAs and Govt Ministers over non delivery of promised support and Aid.

6.Best ever Time Manager:
ability to send the Domestic to buy papers just as the girl friend is visiting me at home and then sending the guy again to buy another paper when she is leave after 1-2 hrs.. repeating the same with precision timings to entertain 3 girl friends during day time,while not getting noticed by neighbors etc..personal best was four visits the same day with a slight clash..that was turned in to my benefit!

a very important skill that i can share with your staff so that not only they learn the art of managing time thus not creating a routine, thus discouraging any attacker as no pattern of movements is visible when practicing this art.over time i have developed this skill so that you can use it when doing Field Visits and go in and out of your Hotel avoiding the preying eyes of your Local Partner NGO's as they await for the Bus across the street.

7.Stealth Mobility:
I'm a world class expert in stealth mobility, a craft that i have perfected at work...where i come in late,go for early lunches and then return late and leave work early and then return again in the dead of the night to make private calls overseas,prints for mates,photocopy porno mags and re-print them in color,copy movie DVDs in mass numbers so that you can distribute it among your best mates from my Yoga class etc, during my time with Colombo's best Civil Society Family Business Empires.

i can provide your staff with hands on experience and then focus on developing individual styles to suit each and every persons lifestyle and nature of assignment..etc

As you may realize above are the best self defence skills suited for the humanitarian community where openness ,transparency and neutrality is a best practice.. so unlike Karate or other fighting language with lots of aggressive noise and colored belts, my Martial Arts are the common man's or married mans approach to total protection. its a total Zen like holistic approach to defending one self ,without infringing the Human Rights of any Attacker..

Therefore i request you to consider above and hire me as the best ever martial arts instructors to the humanitarian community.

Thank you and screw you in my own innocent way...

[hopefully i will get the job soon and then I'll stop this Blog again!]

Reverse Engineering & amazing Toilet in Chicago Hospital

2009-07-04T15:31:00.001+05:30

I got this story below via e-mail from a friend and after reading it , i started thinking...but before i share my 0.2 cents worth of crap, i want you to read the story..

"In a Chicago hospital, a gentleman had made several attempts to get into the men's restroom, but it had always been occupied.
A nurse noticed his predicament.
Sir, she said ' You may use the ladies room if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall.'
He did what he needed to, and as he sat there he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch.
Each button was identified by letters: WW , WA, PP, and a red one labeled APR.
Who would know if he touched them?
He couldn't resist.. He pushed WW. Warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom.
What a nice feeling, he thought. Men's restrooms don't have nice things like this.
Anticipating greater pleasure, he pushed the WA button. Warm air replaced the warm water, gently drying his underside.
When this stopped, he pushed the PP button. A large powder puff caressed his bottom adding a fragile scent of spring flower to this unbelievable pleasure.. The ladies restroom was more than a restroom, it is tender loving pleasure.
When the powder puff completed its pleasure, he couldn't wait to push the APR button which he knew would be supreme ecstasy.
Next thing he knew he opened his eyes, he was in a hospital bed, and a nurse was staring down at him.
'What happened?' he exclaimed. The last thing I remember was pushing the APR button.

'The button APR is an Automatic Pad Remover. Your penis is under your pillow.' "

I feel sorry for the guy and all my sympathy and wishes are with him..but out of his pain and possible loss (hopefully not..) i realized there is a potential for this machine here in Sri Lanka and also the immense export potential it has too...

I mean what a great machine.. can't we get one down..and get some guy in German Tech in Ratmalana or the Army Central Engineering workshop in Udawalawa..to change the mechanism ( Tech world calls it reverse engineering..) and instead of a pad change, how about a quality hand job..?

Now think about the potential of this kind of machine? not only the market or commercial value but also the Social value.. imagine if we get this machine we can reduce the role of Wife/Girl Friend by a whopping 61.37%..

The impact on Civilization and Culture is immense.. and this can be Revolutionary turning point mankind's search for perfection and harmony, far more than the invention of the Remote Control.

And the immense physical effects on the Man's anatomy.. can you imagine that this machine or toilet ( call it the intelligent toilet 2.0 ) would release the hands of a man for something else..and also ease the strain on shoulder joints too...thus, reducing the weight on the shoulders drastically.. and since the time immemorial ,burden that's called the hand job that man carried on his shoulders will be lifted..and then the Man will be truly free..(Men's Lib...>Sunila Abesekara ..pls take note..another good one to start shouting and skim of western $$$$)

Think about it...ACT NOW... (No No..when i said ACT NOW..i didn't mean those people behind the Ship Captain Ali..) just plain and simple 'act now'..

Indomitable Ooorumiyaa returns...

2009-07-04T15:22:00.001+05:30

Greetings O Kottu dwellers..
I'm back.. just like the Terminator.. I've returned..
yes ,yes.. sojourn was long and hard...
borrowing in Puthumathalan was not the best times for a Ooorumiyaa to dig around but i came back..
this is it baby!
i'm back and i'm here to stay.. no Dr.Mervin Silva nor Kottu God (hey ,he's a nice guy...) can stop me from digging here.. Oink oink..
so, lock up the daugter, put the Dog on the leash and keep the back yard free of live wires..
Jaya Wewa...

Ooorumiyaa wanting to be on Kottu..yet again...

2009-06-24T17:05:00.002+05:30

hello Indi,
can you pls add me,myself and my blog to Kottu for the second time..
many thanks for your kindness,blogness and in d scene-ness,
Miyaa

Twitter and Whaling...

2009-06-04T02:41:00.001+05:30

Ooorumiyaa is on Twitter..had been for some time...covertly that is... anyway i hate when Twitter says " Twitter is over capacity.
Too many tweets! Please wait a moment and try again."

got loads to write and then bloody twitter is feeling constipated...

but the Whale in twitter looks cute..mind you the Japanese kill whales for research and Greenpeace wants whales protected..whats the big deal anyway?

its important to do research, knowledge is the cornerstone of civilization and whats Greenpeace alternative? go back to stone age to save the whales? bollocks!

i say ,lets kill the whales and do some research..come up with few dog meat tins in the end..least the Jap's are happy!

once upon a time i was getting drunk with few work mates in Dondra area in Matara,down South when we met some fellow drinkers, who turned out to me Fishermen from Weligama in the business of Whaling... digging deep i found out that their interests too in research but not for dog food but for amber.. yes..Amber...

seems you find amber in Whales belly.. it helps the long fish to digest food (guess Whales like sea food since there is no Vegen or Chicken only diet in the sea..) and gets ejected time to time..but if they don't come across big lumps of whale puke with amber on it ,next best thing (or the only best thing!) is to hunt them and ...err...empty the stomach contents involuntarily...

pweew...enough for now...more to come ,but some other day..

In Pigs we Trust,.. and Love....

2009-05-06T15:30:00.004+05:30

Amidst the global scare of this so called 'Swine Flu'..i wanted to reiterate that not only Pigs love people, people do love Pigs too and amidst the chaos there can be love... And Swine Flu my ass...don't believe what the WHO say..they come up with all kinds of lame of names and reason for all the ills man had crated and are causing pain and suffering and from my many years of research have uncovered that WHO is a covert agency of the Grass eating Vegetarian lot to scare people off the animals..but I, Ooorumiyaa will rise above and crush them all..When some Chinese or Indonesian guy goes down with breathing difficulties, they say its 'Bird flu' and mite i ask you? can birds have Flu..? i mean, them birds are braving the elements 24/7,365 or even more days a year..under rain,strong winds and then they get flu..? what stupid idiot can think of that?

OK,not convinced enough..? tell me if you know a fish that had a cold? exactly! None! So, ditch the WHO ,ditch the Egyptians.. (I'll get to them later..) and the Honk Kongers and the Chinese .. lets move on in life...may be a flu might kill a man here and there but look at the bright side..you'll still have Babe1 and Babe 2 ...

By the way, did you see the impressive pair of assets (or mummery glands as the Brits would say..) on that women who was trying on a face mask in some Mexican subway last night on CNN...?

Man, that was nice!

New map of the Tamil EELAM

2009-02-20T13:44:00.002+05:30

Not sure who the creator of this map is,however i think it reflects pretty well how the next stage of myth of so called Eelam is going to be played ,especially considering the events that's unfolding in Vanni now days!!

Good luck to Norway, I'm sure its a much welcomed change for them!

by the way, new LTTE Press ,the successor of the one that's in the hands of the Army in Putukkudirippu must be busy printing glossy calenders for 2009, depicting smiling V.Prabakaran next to the new Eelam map!

what will be the 2010 calendar look like? will it have King Herald of Norway and V.Prabakaran in it?

I'm back..

2009-02-17T15:34:00.001+05:30

I'm back..Blogger please open the door...

my life so far...

2008-07-22T13:44:00.001+05:30

the little old man is a poet and he is from Australia and he is in love with this Francesca chick. she is a lost soul ,having being experimenting with all the religions and all the bullshit.. including her time in India.she now end's up in Mexico..but by pimping Buddha the little old man is trying to say.. "you're on your own babe!"

may be its time you write to both asking for some clarification....

life goes on here, too much back stabbings and internal politics.. I'm afraid I'm back to the XX reality.. after some good time in the regions..this is making me sick!.

met JB over breakfast as he is also based in the same hotel as me. the SH. he was pissed that the XX is doing nothing to retain people like me and holding on to useless idiots!
well, good for him, but i don't see the establishment looking after people, just we are open to abuse and misuse!

my quasi-g.f left for France last week and i kind of miss her.. man she can talk.. she can go on an on talk..

there is a another Danish chick that likes me a lot.. i have a casual friendship with her, and off the blue today, she proposed we just have sex this eve... i like that approach! anyway, I'm supposed to have dinner at Kailash's place ,with his family so sex with the Danish is not going to happen.. anyway, she's too thin for me!

life...

Nepal elected its first president yesterday, with that the county now has a full house of democracy but the fucking Maoist are not happy! so its time to fuck them!

our boss, is leaving the office today.. there is a long line of people here to kiss his hand and lick his ass.. while i focused on picking and pillaging his collection of books and documents! now i have a backpack full of contraband.. some of them are quite sensitive XX files! code cables and stuff.. I'm going to sort them tomorrow and then scan them and send the soft copies to Kathmandu post. i know couple of investigative journalist, who will be interested in them.

by the time i leave Nepal, the XX assholes here will be in deep shit! and hopefully they will be held accountable for some serious damage to the peace process.or may be not.. may be there will be a cover up, the two journos will get sacked and the wolves in NY will start a witch hunt.it might end up in my front door.. who cares.. i'm not going to keep my mouth shut this time!

enough is enough.

that's my plan for today and tomorrow

i miss you too, times i want to see you , want you to fucking share an apartment with me in Kathmandu so that we can have endless cups of tea, talk bullshit and may be make love too, also smoke a few joints! that's very much available here...

sometimes in the office in the regions we used to have tea lased with Hash! the herbs have a magical effect on people performance. also people are more kind and warm. Bosnian chick gave a blow job to a fellow work mate of mine from Sweden one Saturday after too many 'high teas' and after she offered me one too..( a BJ that is..) but i declined! what a wanker I'm! \what kind of idiot would say no to a free blow job!

that's about it for now.. I'm having lose motion.. diorrea is the national illness of Nepal.. all the people have it, you need to have to be consider fully integrated Into Nepali way of living and even the architecture is influenced by it, if you consider the number of toilets and the proximity/placement it has on a building!

enough.. i need to go back to SH now.. a big XX Prado with XX driver awaits me at the dispatch park.

i love you.

Godaya ,V-day aftermath, Mirror Mag. and 'me,myself and Godaya' type gig!

2008-02-25T18:24:00.000+05:30

there i was, doing the national past time on Sunday, reading Sunday papers and getting my blood boiled over whats happening in the country, then i flipped through pages of the Mirror Mag of Sunday Times. reading through i came across this article titled " V- day aftermath" by Godaya. was interesting read and he end by saying "how was your Valentine's? contribute to the post-mortem..."

so ,not wasting any more time i logged in (after some tedious research ...!) and below is my reply.

Oi Godaya,

reading your article 'V-day aftermath' on Sunday Times Mirror mag of 24.feb, i thought of dropping a line .wanker.. you missed the last portion of your blog adress… i had to go though the added work of doing the tests to find what host you use! wanker wanker.

next time you publish the blog post on the paper ,save us the home work time!hey you can read my post on V-day..http://ooorumiyaa.blogspot.com/2008/02/valantines-day-memoirs-of-ooorumiyaa.htmlalso see mock me not on kottu, he had a apology (cant find the link) also double wanker.. cant track the cursor point on this comment box. do some thing!

will find you a girl friend for next V-day , if you cant offered to find one… go jobless its eco friendly,as for not-so-good looks…duka thamai!

Ooorumiyaa.

p.s-gr8 post, enjoyed the article too!

some back ground , he talks about him being jobless etc. so i return to reading the rest of the paper.. and hey presto.... i find this ..

titled "Gotta have gizmo" by Ding..but i was so sure i had seen it before.

true to my feelings , i find it as a post on our dear Godaya's pinkboxinggloves , dated 24.feb by now this Godaya is Ding too. flip two more pages on Mirror Mag and i find "Bitten by the blog" this time by "Pink Boxing Gloves"

to summ up, we have 'V-day aftermath' by Godaya (page8) "Gotta have gizmo" by Ding (page12) and last but not least "Bitten by the blog" by Pink Boxing Gloves. i like them articles (blog posts) , more than that I'm getting to like this Godaya/Ding/Pink Boxing Gloves character. (not in a faggots way!)

he IS jobless but writes (blogs) to Sunday Times and i wonder if he is THE one writing to Mirror Mag.imagine one single jobless guy doing multiple psudos' doing the whole Mirror Mag.

hmmmmm.....cool gig! check out Pinkboxinggloves , got good stuff to read!

Ooorumiyaa-Portrait of yours truely

2008-02-25T12:54:00.001+05:30

after many months ( i wish!) larking behind the shadows (as always!) , i have decided to come out, and coincided with the launch of all new Ooorumiyaa i have decided to publish my portrait.

Sri Lankan Blog wallahs ,including many ladies have requested me to come public (no , not that you dirty minded psycho..) hence heeding to their ever increasing call , you'll find me portrait !

top class high quality image is available on request for any of you planning to put me pix on the mantel piece , framed on gold plated fancy mount.

Prodigal Ooorumiyaa returns!

2008-02-25T12:49:00.001+05:30

launching all new Ooorumiyaa.. with killer apps, all new set up and many more bling bling .... also, i have relaxed the comments protocol too,so that nut jobs of SL Blog space , singular and all can start to puke on me Ooorumiyaa again.

to mark the return i take the opportunity to re produce a poem i once wrote, aptly titled 'on the edge of insanity' :

on the edge of insanity

i dig i dig and i dig,

insanity i see i see and i see,

and you thee ,

you get only to pee on me,

Cargills , Arpico Keels ,

Premasiri and Magna i go ,

shopping for you thee,

Cheers,Hotwo,Zanziba ,

white horse,Clancy i drink,

Petta,Fort,Galle ,

i work for you thee,

yet you ,

remember me not ,

is this what,

i owe you thee.

Valantines day - Memoirs of Ooorumiyaa [ sensitive content R ]

2008-02-15T14:31:00.001+05:30

yesterday was Valentines day, and while contemplating about the good old times jotted down my memoirs of past Valentine days , the old glory and not so glory days, but just a sketch of tuning points or highlights..irrelevant and mundane to some ,good content for life-styles research ( yeah, my a..-!) etc...so here goes..

my first (school days)

it was H.from Meuseus then, remember me doing an excursion to Liberty Plaza (hip joint ,then) in order to buy THE card , a gift and then went over to Fab to buy a cake.yeah, true! a CAKE. what a wanker i was then! got her to sneak into my home , Parents were out of town, so was the pestering younger brothers too. got the domestic to go out and buy some odd paper , so that in the mean time i could sneak her in. same detail to sneak her out.rest is beep beep beep.. ( censer).anyway, it was good, childhood love kind of thing.

later on (post AL-jobless but rich)

very much free, unchecked in and outs , happy and roam free kind of life.by that time it was R. from Meuseus. took her out to lunch at PitzzaHut, yes , that PizzaHut at Union Place.again it was Hip those days, and by far the munch was far better than whats now fit for Pigs.yeah, that was it then.very much a formal upstart kind of love, conservative and strictly no 'monkey buissness' . in fact the monkey in me tried to put a hand into her skirt (yeah,Gender insensitive content) and... not a good move.. still remember her peach red face.!

NGO 'yes' man (clean suit/empty pocket)

this was the beginning of the golden era.N.from Colombo Uni was on tow now and what a great time it was.mindless ........ and lots of it. no questions asked .. it was like open season then. lasted few years. so, on a particular V.day took her to Negambo , early morning , checked into Browns Beach Hotel ( i think) had a good time, gifts and stuff.. got a engraved pen ( yeah, not one of the best..a Pen ??? ) anyway, that was good time.repeated the same routine in Hikka , UK (Usewetakeiyyawa) and even Kandy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!subsequent years.

new Millennium (employed /jet setter/affluent life)

yes , went international , European girl friend, S from _ (too much detail by now, some one might ID me ) .height of the golden era. took the train to Venice. yes, Venice ,Italy, that town on stilts! it was good time again. went on the 'Ombra Longa" sipping cheap wine for free from one bar to another. never took the Gondola through the canals as you seen on movies and Mags. was too expensive (not that i couldn't offered to -but more to do with it being a 'tourist' thing reserved for Japanese and Americans. next year (or the previous one ,not so sure V.day was in Marrakesh , Morocco.-got the girlfriend to fly down there ,i as on work not in Marrakesh but a shitty 'conflcit affected' area of Morocco .was there for couple of months ,doing a crap 'assesment' .glory days, lasted few years always with proper Airlines ,no cheap Virgin kind of gigs, frequent flayer miles,upgrades at check in ,business lounges, drinks by the sunset,Body Shop ( only) stuff as proper toiletries etc,rented out apartments in two continents at the same time etc.

circa 2008 (whatever)

V.day...wife leaves to work early morning ,rips all the 'change' in my purse (Rs.1,600.00+) her 'transport dues' so I'm told..., wake up late, baby-sit the kid till Mom in Law turns up, wash kids cloths, boil them in hot water, rinse and hang out to dry, clean fish pond, go over to the local Hardware shop, clean and polish an antique chest of drawers (inherited from Grand mom) ,

and yes, go out for a special V.day outing in the eve.

turns out to be my special V.day outing was to meet up with two socially bankrupted (like me, they had nothing else to do!), morally destitute good old mates from the civil society.had 7 bottles of beer , 2 plates of 'egg and savory chili omlett' ( or whatever, can you have 'egg' along with an Omelet in the first place?) and a plate of 'mixed noodle' ( know unto God and the cook of course, when it comes to figuring out mixed with what) and talked about the good old days, the decay of a once vibrant civil society ( -at times contributed in changing governments (! ? ) -I'm told ) ,stooges of ex-boss, intra-politics of _ , con-federalism of _ units ,FMM, UN in Sri Lanka , Press Institute, taking USAID for a ride ,Charls Abesekara , J.Uyangoda, elections ,R.Premadasa, M.Rajapaksha, ethnic conflict, war and war against terror, extraordinary renditions , disappearances ,up coming election in Batti and a mind blogging plan of one of the luminaries of the Civil Society (Colombo based-English only type), on Gender something ( this was well after 5-6 bottles of beer.. of course ) ..etc (in no particular order)

return home late, the wife gives the cold shoulder ( fair enough) , kids fast asleep.(missed the small man!)

all in all it was a memorable Valentines day for me ,rather 'about turn' from past V.days that i had and an indicator of whats in store for me!

Disclaimer

yes, many irrelevant, mundane , bloated ,macho,insensitive, irresponsible , rude and offensive content. apologias for any pain caused.life's a bitch , live to the full.

and she said...i like it juicy juicy juicy...

2008-02-13T01:10:00.001+05:30

yep.. that's what she said.

I've been hearing it many times over the last few weeks and cant get over it. not that i like this women, i love her, i adore her and i want her!then she get out of the car with one tit hanging out.man, she is generously proportioned and with that she gives a sneak peak at her raspberries.

her luscious lips , her sexy voice ...enticing, and then she carries herself is such a way it feels like in the presence of royalty, and for me she is royalty..just that i want her to be the queen of my borrow!hehe.

yes, she may be 48 this year, but who cares ..if son of Osama Bin Laden married a old English granny , why not me marry this awesomely hot English chick ?

did i mention that she is Oxford educated? who cares what she studied there, horticulture or home science, she is the one for me, she knows only the best and she not only taste the best but seems to know all the tastes too.

and her appetite for food.. not just food ..good food...rich food and then she cant go to sleep after night of paring ...she has to fix a quick shack that's not out of a can or a frozen packet but something that would shame an average chef you see on TV and then she has it with some exotic drink she would make her own.

this is good life, and she is the good part of it.who is she ?

she is Nigella Lawson .I've been watching her "Nigella Bites" and now " Nigella Express" on NatGeo Travel & Living channel and man I'm so in love with her.

i want to write more about her but no, some thoughts i keep it to my self ..may be later .. rest is bla bla bla.

i take the liberty of reprodusing something i dug up on her that appeared on THE SUN.

Nigella: I like a good stuffing

TELLY dish Nigella Lawson has posed for a saucy picture in a dress made of TINFOIL — and served up some sizzling sex secrets.

The TV cook admits she LOVES wearing stockings, prefers her men to be HAIRY and FANCIES footballers.

She says: "Stockings never fail to make you feel sexy. Men like the whole strappy thing of suspenders, so I'll wear them. I have actually worn them with nothing but a pair of shoes in bed." Asked what turns her on, she says: "Hairiness. I like an animal. Hairy back. Hairy everywhere.

"If I was going to go for someone smooth, I may as well be a lesbian."Chelsea fan Nigella adds: "I love the English boys in the team — I only have to hear John Terry and Frank Lampard talk and I swoon."

She also reckons former Blues manager Jose Mourinho is "beautiful". But food with sex leaves her cold. She said: "I've never understood that whole dripping chocolate on someone.

"Food with sex just doesn't do it for me."

Buxom Nigella wrapped herself up in her foil outfit for the November issue of men's mag Esquire. She said: "I loved it. It felt very sexy. BacoFoil owe me big time." But the star of new BBC2 series Nigella Express added she wanted to escape from her "blow-up sex doll" image.

Assaination attempt on President of East Timor

2008-02-12T12:40:00.000+05:30

Story so far
President José Ramos-Horta of East Timor was shot and critically wounded at his home on Monday by a group suspected to be renegade soldiers. Ramos-Horta, who won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1996 for his efforts to free East Timor from Indonesian domination, was evacuated to Australia for medical treatment for a gunshot wound to the stomach, and now said to be in a criticul but 'stable' (what ever that means!) condition according to the Australian doctors who operated on him.

seems the attack was carried out by the leader of a renegade military group, Alfredo Reinado. apperently Reinado was killed in an exchange of gunfire between the president's guards and two cars that drove by his house early in the morning.

whats next
as for the East Timor attack , i think the International community including the big 4 (Aus,US,Indon,UN) will push for a International military operation to capture the remaining mutineers and then push for Govt.reform. they also have to seriously think about giving some of the East Timors oil money back to East Timor from the IMF/WB accounts,which has been on hold for many years now in a so called 'trust fund'.

my .50cents of crap on East Timor's future
what happens to José Ramos-Horta is not a major thing, better if he retires from politics , former President and current Prime Minister of East Timor ,Xanana Gusmao and him are more corrupted than the old Indonisian masters of East Timor ,hence people of East Timor deserves a fresh infusion blood to rule the country not a fresh infusion of bloodshed.

no neighboring country including the big 4 would want to see another crisis brewing up in East Timor ,that might push the country to the brink of collapse..again!.so, most probably we will see a more aggressive international military operation against the anti-Govt elements in East Timor pretty soon and also a UN sponsored clean up followed by this. when i said a clean up, i meant a UN sponsored clean up of the Govt with some sort of quasi-UN-ET Govt administration being set up to address issues of dissension amoung the political parties including poor economy,unemployment etc.

my .50cents of crap on East Timor's government
as for the past governments (+the current) East Timor, they were never interested in genuine development of their people nor the UN took any interest in creating a accountable and dynamic leadership , and just passed the driving seat in 2002 independence to the old ruling class,which was far more corrupted and was after the $$$$ from Oil and Natural Gas than a real deal for the ordinary man on the street .

so, there will be more and more dissension and bloodshed in East Timor in time to to come and of course more and more foreign intervention too. some times i think the lazy scumbags deserve it too!. may be this is bit too politically incorrect but they are a bunch of machete wielding ,women beating child molesting rag tags who, for some reason got converted to Christianity from being cannibals after the Portuguese stumbled upon the place in mid 15 century.

my assesment of the attack

as for the attack, it took place at the residence of Horta , just few Km outside Dili. like in true shabby East Timoreese style, the attack took place at 0700hrs.

can you f.king believe it? 0700am...? is that the time to mount a coup or let alone attack a house?

these muppets would not do it bit earlier as they will not wake up early as they must have gone to sleep late after drinking 20 truck loads of beer and smoking 10 tons of pot.then they wake up shit headed , beat up the woman and the kids ,then pick few guns and say' lets go over and f..k the governments today'.

if i were to do it, i would have done it at the crack of dawn, around 3-4am,when all are at sleep . surprised the guards and try avoid a shoot out, not a f..king drive by shooting, followed by full frontal assault!silly boneheads!

Hortas' house or should i say the Villa complex
as for the house or complex , must admit I've seen it from being an empty plot ,to the house(s) being built and how it turned out to be a palace once it was occupied.

Horta once hosted a dinner party to a visiting Portuguese FM there along with 400 other guests and entourage. catering was done by some Oz chef ,flown specially for the function..most probably all by courtesy of either UN or East Timor oil revenue destined for development of East Timor and its poverty stricken people.

Disclaimer
apologies for the politically incorrect statements, not that i give a damn! just in case if anyone is wondering why i botherd to write about this, well its because its none of your buissness but just that i once used to dig bit of my time there in East Timor,long long time ago.

Rambo IV banned in Burma

2008-02-07T22:24:00.001+05:30

Police in Myanmar have told DVD pirates not to stock Sylvester Stallone's latest Rambo movie, which sees the geriatric action hero come out of the retirement home to take on the military junta ruling Burma.

Despite the ban, Reuters reports that copies of the film are doing a brisk trade in one-time capital Yangon, with the tag line "Live for nothing, die for something" proving popular among opponents of the regime, some of whom hope that the movie could even inspire a political upheaval - surely Rambo's most improbable victory yet.

somehow Prabakaran seems to be thinking the same as we see more and more intensified campaign against civilians in the rest of the country , Prabakaran and his gang of psychopaths seems to be thinking "suicide bombing for nothing,live for peace" before launching bombings against innocent people of this country.

my reply to Prabakarans comment on Cerno

2008-01-24T10:47:00.001+05:30

Prabakaran ,

great to have you checking Cerno these days!

your right on mate.you have control and you too have GoogleEarth too.we all know that.also congrads on the use of GE for your mil ops.and yes , i do agree with you on the location and the placing of the X-ray base.and what a wanker this Cerno and the lot is, to think they can track you via GE.

but sadly , it seems the SLAF not only know the locations well, but also seems to know exactly which vent hole or window to drop the laser guided bunker busters through , just like what happened to that guy called 'Tamilchelvam'.

even this is the case with the Special Forces people, unlike your boys who claymore a bus full of passengers on a road side , the SF knows exactly when and where you and your croonies pass-by on the road. when you talk to ( in hell) late 'Col.'Charles he will confirm you this.

rest assured that SL military doesn't use GE, (its after all 2003-5 era pix ,and never upto date) they have HISAR ,UAVs mounted with TI /ground penetrating rader and even covert eyes on the ground , observing every move of you and your cronies.

so , dear Prabakaran do enjoy your visits to SL blogs like the stuff in Kottu , especially Cerno ( and moi too!) , but make sure to make the best of it as your days are numberd.

may be its better to dug a very deep hole (+500m) with no extra openings (vent holes,escape tunnels etc) and stay inside, and make no noice, don't go out and keep no contact with rest of the world. this way you may have a bit more time to live , unless there is a Kfir or a MiG high up Vanni , awaiting to come down and drop a laser guided Bunker buster with your name on it.

as for the rest of us bloggers ,we tend to do our own bit , and some might spend their afternoon listning (after paying thousands of Rups), to crap about some self proclaimed 'experts' talk about how serious we are, we continuesly ponder around and dig shit , just like me the Ooorumiyaa . while you check our blogs , there is the SLAF jet that skimms above your rooftops and the SF team that lurks behind the bushes near your deep hole or a SLAF UAV that hover above Vanni for what seems for like eternity.

got it? we are disctracting you! its called a diversion tactic and great generals like David Blacker and Sittingnut have come up with this stratergy. so my advice is that you take a long crap and piss under a palm tree, dig a great deep hole and blalbal as i mentioned earlier.

Is there life on Mars?

2008-01-24T01:40:00.001+05:30

A photograph taken by a Mars probe is causing a stir online because it appears to show a human-shaped object striding through a rocky outcrop. The Telegraph of UK reports that one overexcited blogger wrote: "My first thought: it's Bigfoot!"

my first assessment:

it's a rock.

my second assessment:

what exactly would Bigfoot be doing on Mars? A little far from his usual stomping ground, isn't it?

either way , do i care ? no , not really.

what the hell dose it change for me to know that big foot is in Mars anyway? not that its going to bring down the price of fuel, rice and rest of all the stuff we need for daily survival in Sri Lanka. talk about rice, it seems the Govt has made Rice a essential commodity , where by anything to do with rice can be dealt with the emergency laws and Prevention of Terrorism Act.

how that effects the brothers of our dear minister and general Secretary of SLFP , Mithreepala Sirisena MP is not some thing that I'm going to speculate, however my thoughts on this issue is this-

1. by adding the rice on the essential list the Govt will silence anyone or any entity that will talk about rice

2. Govt will enforce the PTA on people who will complain about the price/quality of rice

3.JVP is making too much noice about the Maithreepala brothers monopoly (no, not monopoly-its their consuming interest in rice ) in rice production/prices etc

4.people are eating too much rice , so its time we switch to Kurahan etc

5.when people start to switch to Kurahan the Medamulana monopoly on Kurahan will be rewarding.

6.more rewards mean more luxury bungalows in US/ few more Aston Martins can be bought.

back to matter in hand. Bigfoot in Mars.

well , me as a interested Ooorumiyaa with a multiple digging habit , i decided to do some more digging on this and found out that the Mars Rover that took this pix in 2004-5 had a cost of cool USD $ 820 mil in green notes. are these people nuts or what? and all that money to just find some crater that's called Gustav or some other thing that in fact is said to be a ancient lake.

this is overkill , even for a rodent like me. with the cool $820 mil , not only i could have showed a few hundred creators and ancient lakes in any A class road of choice of NASA in Sri Lanka but also could have thrown in few MPs with the name of Gustav to add some spice to the money.

in fact, that USD $ 820 mil could have not only paid the HSBC loan the Govt took last year but also upped the good old rupee too. ash, talking about HSBC any one remember how Ranil threatened to kick HSBC out of SL when they come to power if they give the loan and also how he threatened to go and camp outside the HSBC bank in Colombo? wonder what happened to that.

well at least the camping part, since Ranil will never make it to power this life time,HSBC underwriters must have just passed Ranils policy statement as a minor fart. but one question, when the Govt start to miss the interest payments , will a chick from HSBC call up Mahinda or Basil and inform that the payment is over due and request that a payment is made before a certain date ?

if not, what will happen? will be be end up in Mars? will big foot take me in ? will the cost of living in Mars be reasonable?

if so, can i take a boat out of Negambo to go to Mars and stay there illegally?

questions , questions...

Battaramulla Sub office of Kaduwela PS-service like no other

2008-01-18T17:13:00.001+05:30

Did some digging around the Capital city of Sri Lanka , Battaramulla yesterday.afterwards went to Kaduwela PS in Battaramulla where i witness a truly Sri Lankan situation. there was a guy running around talking to people at the PS , making phone calls etc. later on got to know the dude is the caretaker of the Battaramulla cemetery , that also has a crematorium that's run by the Kaduwela PS.

so the here's the scene - caretaker sir , was there to make some urgent phone calls the to Chairman of Kaduwela PS, Mr.G.H Buddhadasa. story is some residents in Koswatta area booked the crematorium for a funeral of a relative, turned up at 1130hrs for the cremation.

well all went well ,till ..err caretaker sir found out that the crematorium is out of gas. so, there he was ,burning the phone lines and talking to all key people responsible for the crematorium at the PS trying to get the gas.

this is how it works

1.the caretaker sir has to put a request to the Officer In Charge of PS assets in Battaramulla sub area. 2.the OIC then approves the request and checks with the work supervisor to see of there is the required number of requests made to acquire gas. 3.then Work Supervisor , once he is satisfied with the numbers , he will pass a request to the head of Administration in Battaramulla Sub office of Kaduwela PS. 4.then the Admin will forward a request to the Chairman of Kaduwela PS for his approval. before the necessary approval is granted , 5.the Admin will consult the Accountant and see if there is a appropriate budget line and also make sure they have not exhausted the budgeted amount for Gas.

6.once the Chairman provides the approval ,7. the Accountant will issue a cheque to the Admin , 8.who will countersign the request and forward it to the Purchasing unit for onward action. 9.once the Gas has been acquired by the Purchasing unit,10. it will be released to the Work Supervisor who will 11.inform the OIC of PS assets in Battaramulla sub area , who will in turn 12.inform the caretaker sir.

my source

well that's about it., that's the process. its time tested, well documented and transparent and has all the checks and balances. i got to know about the process from a very helpful and informative Office Assistant who is attached to the Technical Assessment Unit of the Battaramulla Sub office ,while he was consulting potential housing developers for a very nominal charge.

as for the Gas , its a serious business , many million years of peat getting bogged down and turns into crude oil ,mostly US and UK companies go and dig it up , then the whole refinement process , the liquidizing the petroleum and LNG tankers transporting it all over the world. for me info on this process pls check with Chemical & Process Engineering blog . he knows best.

as for the poor caretaker sir, well he kept on making calls and talking to people till around 1500hrs, and then i had to depart the PS office for some more digging in more greener pastures.

oh by the way , Chairman of Kaduwela PS, Mr.G.H Buddhadasa was not available that day, according to his coordinating Secretary at Battaramulla Sub Office due to some 'unforseenable engagements ' of the Chairman.

exposed,

2008-01-17T15:13:00.001+05:30

following some digging in and around Buttala and Monaragala with regards to yesterdays LTTE attack on innocent civilians i decided to dig Kottu and hey presto... i found an expose on me, yes moi! this guy Nirmal Jayasingha has done a post on me.

here is what Nirmal had to say about some of my recent activity.

" There's a field mouse burrowing outside our house these days. It's about 3 days since he moved in. He burrows and borrows at a certain corner of the garden, which is his job. I watched it a bit last night, he's highly busy, going down, comin' up, pushing rocks' n stuff about, sniffing, and the like. Previously we had one at the backyard and he was a major pain, diggin up mud and making the place a mess. But this one seems cooler and cleaner, he has his own corner, and you'd rarely notice 'em unless his little pile of dirt. Personally I think he's cute n happy we have at least someone moving in the garden other than the lawn-mower, but not everyone thinks the same.

Mom is hysterical about him. She expects it would burrow so much that half of the house would come down, and is determined to get rid o' em. Every morning this week she's been like "Your friend has been at work last night" and the like. Dad likes him but doesn't wanna show in public I guess. I tried to convince mum that after borrowing a week or so he'd get bored and move away, 'course he's not gonna stay there forever, but No. It has to go.

At least I managed to withhold capital punishment at last night's Congressional Defense Review. So tonight Dad's 'Outdoorsman' type pal, uncle Bh, is coming along with a cage so it could be caught and taken away. Sigh. Hope you'll find a nice, ' Hundred Acre Forest' kinda place to live in."

and here is my comment to his post

" Nirmal, its me the field mouse, also known as Oooru-miya. yes, that's actually two animals, in Sinhaleese. Oooru is Pig and Miyaa is Mouse. so you know, we are of mixed blood, of a shameful ancestry , though not so shameful now, way things are going i will be in the forefront of things.
as for uncle BHs cage, not to worry, i've been a mole and see a lot.a silly cage is no match for me.
is that BH Perera the scam bag of Sri Lanka Cricket , your uncle? if not , many apologies mate.
as for me , as a mole i have borrowed under many things starting from the Indo-Lanka peace accord to all that mysterious poojas of Pramadasa regime, to shady dealings of CBK to Helping Hambantota and the rest. so , again , not to worry even if the CFA is off , i'll be around, doing the borrowing thing.
your sincerely Field Mouse or OooruMiyaa."

wonder where that hundred acre forest is.. don't think its in Anamaduwa or Pollonnaruwa. late Minister D.M Dassanayake and Minister Maitripala Sirisena's brothers are quite keen naturalists who are against big trees falling on us rodents , so that have moved all the big trees from these areas.