Ice Cream...

Its time..for some Ice Cream...ohhh... heart pounding..

[Pix By Mike Flokis-Getty Images]

Recalling the UN Resident Representative- the Real Story

So there it was.. a big turn of events to our own dear Cabinet Minister Hon.Wimal Weerawansa MP.'s protest into the proposed UN Advisory Panel on alleged War Crimes in Sri Lanka last night when we got to know the big head honcho of the UN, Mr.Ban Ki Moon had closed the UNDP's Regional Center in Colombo and had re-called the UN Resident Representative in Sri Lanka Mr.Neil Bhune.

Everyone in the blogspeare ,especially in the twitterspear went into panic and started saying all kinds of stuff including some 'peace loving' NGO kinda types saying WW should be arrested and charged for criminal acts because he prompted nice Ladies and Gentlemen in the UN Compound to stay inside their office and thus preventing them from going to the toilet or attend 'meetings' at Gallery Cafe etc. 

Thats bad man.. i'm telling you..its really bad..today so it seems Dr.Dayan Jayathikae has shot himself in the foot (not in the mouth,when he himself called a Foreign Minster of our own Colonial Master [long live d Queeny] UK a cunt or something like that..!! OK, i admit..i'm fudging the details here.. not going to do a Sunday Leader kind of proof reading and corroboration of facts (haha..big joke!) ) and so on..[i lost the sentence..].

Anyway..fact is the UNDP Regional Center in Colombo that Mr.Ban closed following him getting pissed off with the 'situation'here, seems has nothing to do with the protests..if you know your geography well, then you know that the protests are in front of the UN Country office thats in the vicinity of Thunmulla Junc.on Bauddhaloka MV. and the UNDP's Regional Center is on the Independence Avenue or Nidhahas Mv. And then, UN Compound in Thunmulla (where our Hero Mr.Weerawansa is camping outside) houses among others the Head Office of UNDP in Sri Lanka and few small Three-wheeler size (meaning that the total staff in-country will fit into a single Three Wheeler-not that they will in reality.. given the fact that they have big gas guzzling Prado's per head there ) UN agencies and also some UN admin units including the world famous UN-DSS (Department of Safety and Security).

Rest of the key UN Agencies like UNICEF,UNHCR,WFP and most of the major UNDP Programs have their own offices spread around (posh parts ) of Colombo (well within the reach of Gallery Cafe-for Coordination Purposes etc) and are not currently covered by Mr.Weerawansa's boys and girls!

So, enough with the back story..here we go now to the real story..so late last night shit hit the fan when Mr.Ban announced that he was closing off the UNDP Regional Center (big deal!!!)  and every one who has to do something with the UN here in SL is upset,some are calling for unconditional surrender of Sovereignty and some NGO types are asking for indiscriminate areal bombing of all NFF sites in Sri Lanka and then the bombshell.. some wise guy in Daily Mirror comes out with this ( aptly titled " The Big Ban lie ")and that effectively ended the whole 'closing' of Regional Center saga!

And then what about the re-calling of Mr.Bhune? 

Here's the story.. there is an evil Octopus thats attached to the Office of the Secretary General on the 23rd Floor of the UN Secretariat building in New York and following developments in Colombo some of the senior staff of the UNSG's office had consulted the Octopus and hey presto..the Octopus has indicated an eventual capitulation of position held by Govt.of Sri Lanka over the UN Advisory Panel and as such Mr.Ban has re-called Mr.Bhune for 'Consultations'.latter has already departed Colombo for New York with business class ticket in hand (as over 6hrs of travel, UN staff gets to travel business class ) and some haal messo for the Octopus too.

Since i don't have an Octopus with me, i don't know when Mr.Bhune is due in UNHQ but i can say that the UN staff in Colombo are keeping mum about what the Octopus has predicted on the predicament of Mr.Weerawansha and since Shanthi Vihar is closed my guess is that Mr.Weerawansha will go to the Colombo Uni.canteen (Arts Faculty may be..) and have few Maalu Paan and plain Tea, talk to the troops about the next steps and head home for a shit/shower/shave and then off to Temple Trees to take up his new portfolio, brand new Minister of Public Protests&Farce with the Ministry co-located with the UN Panel in BMICH.

And, what about the UN Advisory Panel? well, for God sake people its a UN Panel..what do you expect it to do? OK, if you don't understand the 'Panels Theory' its bit difficult to explain but in essence, a UN Panel is similar to a GoSL appointed Commission of Inquiry and as such, this Panel will go on for some time, the Govt.will shout loud it will cooperate with the Panel and on daily basis stone wall it and then most of the big Countries will anyway undermine it as of fears of this kind of Panel setting a dangerous precedent to others and then by the time UN bean counters decide to cut funding to this Panel, it will come out with a Report and then one or many of the Big Five (and may be few others in the Security Council) will request the Report to be suppressed and by the time the report see the light of the day ,no one will give a rats fuck about the findings nor no where will be Mr.Ban Ki Moon close to hearing the wise counsel of the Panel.

Ends! 

p.s- don't you think Yasmin Sooka is hot? she seems so to me!will i see her sipping Lemon Juice at the Barefoot Cafe,talking to Defendors' (like the movie 'Defendor')  of Human Rights in Sri Lanka like Sunila Abey. or Sunanda Deshapriya ? oh! i think not! 

Vesak Day protest..

After following my years of extensive research on Buddhist Philosophy i can say that Buddha was a bad (good in organisational terms-bad for us the worker/peasant class) manager..he was more of a Corporate oriented guy and definitely not a Sri Lankan Civil Servant type... that's why he had his Birth Day, Graduation Day ( the day he got conferred as Buddha following years of applied field research..) and then Passing Away Day..[(we don't celebrate that..No,in fact we kinda do..but its called 'Mala Batha' having an early dinner at the dead man's house talking about what a great guy (or gal) the dead person was etc.. followed by few drinks behind some guys car..)] on the same day..

Imagine in Sri Lankan standers, had Buddha being a resident of Sri Lanka, we could have had 3(+) public holidays (+ 'day after' public holiday too) to celebrate each occasion and not a single day as it is now!!! that's why I'm calling for a protest.

We, majority Sri Lankan Buddhists tend to take Buddha as one of our own ,though he is a Nepali citizen by birth who later took residency in India for career reasons we could say he is Sri Lankan too, considering the number of trips he made to Sri Lanka and also his involvement in domestic issues and also the impact of his teachings on the Sri Lankan society itself!

So, going with above analysis i think its safe to say Buddha later on took up Sri Lankan citizenship and should consider to be full blooded Sri Lankan,hence the Mahinda Raj (or Government of Mahinda in other words..yes, i will explain my new political dictum  of 'Mahinda Raj' in a latter post) must split Vesak into 3 separate events and thus, declare public holidays to correspond to that.

That's about it for now.. i must attend to more temporal issues today so i stop now but the comments box is open for discussion and i will further explain my findings if such is required. 

one other thing: 

in death life begins,life ends in death,

turning by one's deeds done,

whetted by desires of lust and hatred,

pinned to our illusions we evolve,

unceasingly,meaninglessly,

only by reflection we know,

catching glimpses of life's process,

by insight illusions we break,

by wisdom we disentangle our selves,

from our own spun webs,

Said Buddha..

Mahindananda Aluthgamage,next PM of Sri Lanka

We, the Ooora and Miyaa here by propose Hon.Mahindananda Aluthgamage of Nawalapitiya in the great District of Kandy for the next Prime MInister of Sri Lanka. we think President MR should immidiatly stop whatever he is doing and appoint Hon.Mahindananda Aluthgamage as the next PM of this country, irrespective of Election Commitioners call for re-poll in Nawalapitiya. 

Of course without Nawalapitiya votes, EC can't announce Kandy District votes and without Kandy District votes he can't announce Overrall votes nor national list seats allotted to each party ,hence who ever won the election (of course its the UPFA..who else you dumb nitwit!) can't set up a Govt.but all that legal bollocks is irrelevant.

WE WANT MAHINDANANDA ALTHUGAMAGE AS OUR NEXT PRIME MINISTER AND WE WANT HIM TO SET UP THE NEXT GOVERNMENT.

For you folks who repeatedly doubt me and my two cents worth posts, here are some back gorund info on Hon.Mahindananda Aluthgamage ,our hero of Nawalapitiya. 

According to wikipedia where you find the most accurate and upto date information,Hon.Mahindananda Aluthgamage is a product of the prestigious Royal College Colombo and according to Parliament of Sri Lanka's "Biographies of present ( 6th parliment that is..) Members " his religion is listed as 'None' (may be some sect or cult in Nawalapitiya, where our hero is from).Hon.Mahindananda Aluthgamage our hero of Nawalapitiya, has an Authorized Official Facebook Page and you will find 625 fans of him there..including Maradankadawala Yakadaya.

Another famous folk hero is Hon.Susantha Punchinilame of Rathnapura now relocated to clrear and pristine beach country of Trincomalee.they both are great friends and share the same values and practices in Politics,especially share the same best practices on elections day.but i can tell you that  Keheliya (Mala keliya) nor SB (Shit Banda) nor Naaki Sarath of Kandy District are friends of Hon.Mahindananda Aluthgamage ,our hero of Nawalapitiya. thats why fans of our great hero Hon.Mahindananda Aluthgamage serenaded MR with continues hoots when former was adressing the very first UPFA election rally in Kandy. 

Respect!

(all pix are from facebook page of Hon.Mahindananda Aluthgamage ,our hero of Nawalapitiya)

Our Old Suddha Boss Lose Job, Calls for Elections..Dr. Myrvyn to lead the GoSL Independent Elections Observer group in UK Elections

Was watching BBC today and after watching Gordon Browns car or his motorcade talking the road to the Buckingham Palace live for good ten minutes and then i had enough and switched to Fashion TV..and by the grace of Minister Bogollagama, the great Emissary of the benevolent Government to the foreign courts far and near, i started enjoying watching TV.. 

Anyway, its happy to see that good ol' Suddha is going for a General Election..i want to see the end of Gordon Brownrigg and his Suku Kolla  and our lord Governor-General of Sri Lanka Hon.Mili-Banda ..and i want see an end to UK being a terror sponsoring state..vis a vis a Sponsor of LTTE terrorism and Separatism.

For that matter, I've decided to send Dr. Myrvyn Silva as a eminent Elections Observer to represent Democratic and Constitutional Rights of UK citizens on behalf of Sri Lankan Govt and also as a Campaign Manager for Conservative Party.

One might ask why i want Dr. Mervin to go and help the Suddha at this crucial juncture in Sri Lanka but let me remind you it was Dr. Murvyn Silva who defeated the LTTE conspiracy in Italy and thus saved Italy from the LTTE's Eeelamist hoards when he went single handedly while in Rome and assaulted and intimidated a group of Sri Lankan Tamils doing their bit to save the Thalaivar during the last days of  2008.that was before Prabhakaran, the dear leader of the Eeelamist Tamil Diaspora met his Nandikadaal.

So, enough with all the backside history of the War in Sri Lanka (its over anyway..) and lets join hand in congratulating Dr. Mervin for his endeavor and commitment to protecting Democracy in UK.

Time to boycott International Women's Day & think about Local Women..

No, don't get me wrong.. I'm not against women..in fact I'm very much pro-women..and i think Women are equal..that's why i never disrespect any women by letting them get into the bus before me during the rush hour.. i expect them to push their way inside ,like i do most of the time.. and why should i give preference to women first before boarding and put them in shame? like i said before, I'm an equal rights guy! 

Anyway, that's irrelevant, whats important is that today marks the International Women's Day and the papers are full of b.s articles, supplements and adverts on it.. even Milinda Mora' has his say about Women's rights ..but may be i missed it but haven't seen anything from Duminda Silva no women but i assume he being a guy who thinks about us the people all the time, he must be marking women's day in a classy way!

So, lest get to the business..whats the big deal about International Women's Day anyway? its OK to mark Women's day .. it should be everyday..but well ,since we can't do it every day , I'm happy we are more practical and end up marking just a day..(thank god for that!!!) 

Point is, why a Day for International Women?? why are we being told to mark today as the day for International Women, whilst we have our own local women??? Local Women not good? no?

Come on ,give me a break.. this is bad.. unfair and I'm wondering why Wimal Weerawansa is damn quite about this.. where is Nimalka Fernando and Sunila Abeysekara? matter of fact, where the f. is Sunila these days? I'm sure she is not dead.. oh , as for Nimalka.. she must be twice the sad git nowdays with the decimation of the LTTE.. if you ask her ,she'll tell you LTTE was one of the best when comes to honoring Women's rights! anyway, Nimalka must be feeling lajjai after the defeat for doing nothing to stop the end of the LTTE and now being a total recluse..or may be she must be at Hilton Hotel today..having cocktails and marking the International Women's Day with her USAID and other International Doners.. talking about the plight of the rural women! 

So, in the end Suddha has his way and is marking a day for International Women ,while our fine local women will just have to deal with the Duminda Silva and Thilanga Sumathipala campaign..and Etisalat's free SMS.

Anyway, I'm calling a boycott, for one it being a day to mark International Women and not Local Women and two for the fact that soon more than 500,000 or more women in this country will lose their livelihood..and some even their lives due to the withdrawal of GSP+ facility! yes, in the end, West especially European States will have their revenge on Government of Sri Lanka by cutting down the GSP+ for defeating the LTTE, but its the poor women of this country who will suffer.. but then , its okay.. majority of these women i gather are Sinhalese, so who cares.. 

Sinhalese are not supposed to have rights! so no one will talk about them..and no one will talk about the plight of the women in and associated with the Garments Industry in Sri Lanka who will end up losing their livelihoods soon!

So happy International Women's Day!!! NOT

Sri Lankan Kala Weddha..new facts emerge..

Interesting research on Sri Lankan Kala Weddha.. new facts uncovered
by amateur Naturalist. apologies for non Sinhala speaking
readers..will try to have this paper translated and re-post soon.

Also await new and so far unseen pix of Kala Weddha,presented jointly
by Me Ooorumiya, GQ mag and National Geographic with financial support
by London based Peelam Department for Who 2 Vote Advice.

what we need urgently to re-align focus from elections and SF antics..

I had one too many SMS today..yesterday and day before.. some were from people i know,while most were from number i gather to be land lines..(least didn't get any txt from a pay phone!!) and one said to be from 'SF's Daughter' etc.. and of course from the Old man himself..President..that was today.. 

And then the news, blogs, twitter is all full of elections,elections and SF said this ,said that, did this, want this etc etc..
and hey here comes some divine intervention.. was reading about the iPad or whatever that gimmick is.and come across Lingerie Football..man ..what a revelation! 

So i took the liberty of posting above pix..and the caption said "Centre Jessica Renee (R) trains with her Lingerie Football League team, the Los Angeles Temptation, at the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum. The Temptations will play the San Diego Seduction at the stadium on January 29" and that was... Today..!!! yako.. i wish i was there today instead in Colombo..sweating and reading/deleting SMS..and working my way towards the paper stall..

I hope Minister Lokuge ( with his ex.Min.Sec..now truly lost in the boonies..hehe..) read this post and act upon immediately!

[pix by AP/GETTY]

Gen.(rtd.)Sarath Fonseka & Co.invite all for pre-Defeat Party@ Cinnamon Lakeside..Today..Now..

Gen.(rtd.)Sarath Fonseka, the Oppositions main candidate for recently concluded Presidential Election ,along with his key party alliance leaders have decided to host a pre defeat party at Cinnamon Lakeside (formally TransAsia Hotel) Hotel today.its said that around 200 Army troops and Police are outside the Hotel already, queuing up to join the party.

So my advice is that you turn up early and turn up ASAP.. and avoid the last minute disappointment!

Informed sources say that Gen.Fonseka intends to announce his victory at the party and will call upon US to send troops to force the Govt.accept defeat and install him as President,Commander in Chief,Owner of all Prado's in Sri Lanka etc etc..

Party is organised by Fmr.President Miss Chandrika Bandaranayake Kumarathunga Peris ,Mr.Mangala Samaraweera MP and Tillwewin Silva of JVP ,hence its expected to be a rocking party.. so why wait...leave your office/house/spouse/LTTE fundraising event soon and join the party..

Enjoy!

Old work mate returns from the dead..survives the earthquake in Haiti..

Just to cut a long story short.. Ooorumiyaa was feeling bit nervous and upset (with minor diarrhoea at times..) over some ex work mates who were working in Haiti,and following the massive earthquake there and with no comms and then with the story of big HQ coming down to pile of rubble.. there was the (still is..) fear that i may have lost these mates... and hey presto.. one m.f Suddha sent me a mail today.. its reads;

 " Hello everyone,
 
Just a quick note .  I just reported in to the ** compound near the airport and got access to a computer.  Cell phones are still down, and if they were not I would be out of luck as mine is in my former office in the Hotel Christopher.  
 
I walked out of there with my boss at 4:05 in the afternoon, about 30 minutes or so before the quake hit.  I was in my apartment at the time and really thought the place was going to come down.  The ** told everyone up in the hills to to remain where they were if they had food, water and electricity, so I did, until today when I came down to report in.  I plan on remaining here and helping out, as the airport is jammed.  The extent of the damage is horrendous.  It actually seems worse than Sarajevo in some sections. " 

OK, I'm happy that the bastard is safe and doing well. but i have some questions too..

Why the f. did he leave office at 04.05pm..? with his Boss.. where were they going? and when the quake hit, according to the guy he was in his apartment.. people in the knowing of things say the quake hit Port Au Prince at 05.10pm , so my dear mate, the bastard actually left work early and was at home even before end of business.. damn shame! 

And then he wants to stay back and help out..just because the Airport is jammed? so much for bleeding heart..

Mind you , this guy is an old timer.. he stared as a soldier.. with a pretty dodgy work history.. and then left the Army as a Maj.Gen., (no ,not Sri Lankan..or else he would have got into politics..) and entered working with the current job..went to few 'troubled' spots and 'conflcit zones' and cut a name for himself.. and once ended up being sent home on a 48hr notice when the local media exposed him as a 'CIA' guy..thus being a security liability to the big employer as the local 'groups' wanted his head on a plate..

So this guy was sent to his hotel room under heavy guard, made him pack and spend the rest of the day inside the office, was told to do hand overs,papers etc and was put on a plane and sent home..goes home and the first thing his wife asked him was .. "what did you do with your CIA salary all this time" ??? women hah.. 

Anyways, I'm happy the old bastard made it.. he is a top guy to work with and a pretty solid friend ..who would lend me money at a e-mails notice.. and i kinda thought it would have been good if the sod died..so that i don't have to repay the substantial amount of money that i owe him..but thought of him dying under 3 tons of concrete also gives me slight diarrhoea.. so.. all in all.. I'm thankful for man upstairs and mom nature for the sparing his amidst the fury unleashed on a population of poor people.

I really hope Haiti emerge from the rubble as a new nation with a promise of a better living for all..least they can do for the thousands  (or may be hundreds of thousands..oh pls no..) that never made it out of the rubble.

[Pix-JUAN BARRETO/AFP/Getty Image]